Squat, Make Love, and Poop Like You Mean It: The Birth Prep No One Talks About.
- Demi Betschart
- Feb 25
- 9 min read
Birth preparation is not just about drinking raspberry leaf tea, practicing kegels, or bouncing on a yoga ball (though, sure, do those too). Your body already knows how to birth. If you listen closely, it’s whispering: squat like your ancestors, make love like you mean it, and, yes, poop with purpose.
If that last birth preparation one caught you off guard, stay with me—it might just change the way you think about birth… and bathroom breaks.
The Truth About Birth Preparation (And Why I Had a Smooth, Tear-Free Birth)
When I was preparing to birth my daughter, I knew I wanted to surrender to the process fully. No interventions, no unnecessary checks, just me, my baby, and my body leading the way. I spent my pregnancy preparing, releasing tension, and healing my trauma—not by obsessing over due dates or tracking centimeters—but by deeply embodying the wisdom of birth through movement, intimacy, and letting go.
And you know what? When labor came, it was intense, yes, but my body knew what to do. I birthed my daughter naturally, with no tears, no complications, no excessive pain. Just deep presence.
Looking back, I credit that smooth birth to these three simple, primal practices (aka birth preparations): squatting, making love, and learning how to let go completely when I pooped.
I know—one of these things is not like the others. But if you can’t let go when you poop, how will you let go when you birth? Your body doesn’t compartmentalize tension. The way you resist or surrender in everyday life is how you’ll show up in labor.
And when the time came to birth my daughter? My body knew exactly what to do. No tearing, no complications, just a smooth, powerful, fully embodied birth.
Let’s break this down...
Why Tension Gets Stored in the Body—And Why Letting Go Can Feel Impossible
Your body is not just a machine that moves and functions—it’s a living, breathing record of everything you’ve ever experienced. Every moment of stress, fear, or resistance that wasn’t fully processed gets stored in your tissues, your fascia, your nervous system. And unless we bring awareness to it, that tension doesn’t just disappear—it shapes how we move, breathe, birth, and even love.
The Body’s Protective Response: Why We Hold On
From a somatic perspective, tension is the body’s way of keeping us safe. When we experience stress, fear, or trauma (big or small), our nervous system goes into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. If we can’t resolve the stress in the moment, our body contracts—muscles tighten, breath shortens, and our pelvic floor, jaw, and belly often clench instinctively.
Over time, this holding pattern becomes unconscious. We grip when we’re anxious. We tighten our shoulders when we feel vulnerable. We brace against sensation when something feels intense—whether it’s emotional discomfort, pleasure, or even the deep waves of labor.
And this is where birth (and even love-making and pooping) become a mirror. If we’ve spent years tightening, bracing, and protecting, our body doesn’t suddenly know how to open when labor begins. The tension we hold in our daily lives—whether from old traumas, cultural conditioning, or even just the stress of modern living—creates resistance in the body.
Why Letting Go Feels So Hard
Releasing tension and letting go isn’t just a physical act—it’s a deep, nervous system shift. If your body has been trained to stay tense, surrendering can feel unsafe. It can feel like falling, like losing control, like stepping into the unknown.
For many women, this is why labor stalls or becomes overwhelming—because the body is trying to open while the nervous system is still holding on. It’s why some people struggle to fully release during orgasm. It’s why we might strain or force when we poop instead of just relaxing and allowing.
The good news? We can re-train our bodies to let go and release tension. Through movement, breath, somatic release, and conscious awareness, we can start dissolving these old patterns, so that when the time comes to birth, our bodies already know how to soften, expand, and allow.
Why Healing Trauma is Essential for Conception, Pregnancy, Birth, and Motherhood
Bringing life into the world isn’t just a physical process—it’s an energetic, emotional, and deeply somatic initiation.Every part of your journey, from conception to postpartum, is influenced by what lives in your nervous system, your beliefs, and the unprocessed experiences stored in your body. If we don’t consciously work to heal and release, those patterns will shape not only our experience of pregnancy and birth but also how we show up as mothers.
Conception: The Body as a Temple for Life
When we carry unresolved trauma—whether it’s from past experiences, ancestral imprints, or even unconscious fears around motherhood—our body can perceive pregnancy as a threat rather than a welcome expansion. The nervous system plays a massive role in fertility, and if we are stuck in chronic stress, tension, or emotional numbness, our body may struggle to conceive or sustain pregnancy.
Doing the inner work before conception allows us to create a more receptive, safe, and nourished space for life to take root. It’s not just about physical health—it’s about clearing space emotionally and energetically so that your baby isn’t conceived in a body still bracing for old wounds.
Pregnancy: Your Nervous System Becomes Your Baby’s First Home
Your baby isn’t just growing inside your womb—they are feeling your nervous system, your emotional landscape, your breath, your tension, your ease. The state of your body and mind becomes their first imprint of safety and connection.
If we are carrying old pain, fear, or unresolved trauma, pregnancy can surface all of it. Old wounds around being mothered (or not), past sexual trauma, body distrust, or fear of surrendering can all rise to the surface. But this is an invitation—a chance to heal before birth so that we don’t pass these patterns down.
Birth: Surrendering to What Is (the ultimate birth preparation)
Birth will ask you to meet yourself fully. If there is resistance, fear, or unprocessed trauma in your system, it will show up in the way your body responds to labor. The contractions, the intensity, the rawness—all of it requires surrender. And if you’ve spent your life gripping, controlling, or holding tension (even unconsciously), that surrender can feel impossible.
This is why healing is essential. The more you learn to trust your body, release old pain, and work with your nervous system rather than against it, the more ease you will experience in birth. It doesn’t mean birth won’t be intense—it means your body won’t be fighting itself in the process.
Motherhood: The Patterns We Pass Down
Your healing doesn’t just impact your birth—it shapes your baby’s entire life. Babies don’t just inherit our genetics; they inherit our nervous system regulation, our beliefs, our emotional responses. If we don’t do the work, we unconsciously pass down the same fears, the same anxieties, the same dysregulation we’ve carried.
But when we choose to heal, we break the cycle. We create a new imprint—one of safety, love, and deep attunement.
This is the work of conscious motherhood. Not just raising a child, but doing the deep, inner work to make sure they are born into a space that is already healing, already expanding, already capable of deep, embodied love.
And it all starts with you.
So, here are the three tips I invite mamas to do as they prepare for pregnancy, birth and motherhood:
1. Squat Like Your Ancestors
Why Squatting Prepares You for Birth
We weren’t designed to sit in chairs all day. Our ancestors squatted for everything—eating, working, resting, and yes, birthing. Squatting keeps your pelvis flexible, strengthens your legs, and naturally aligns your baby for an easier descent.
And here’s the key: Squatting isn’t just about strength. It’s about trust.
When you drop into a squat, your body opens. But only if you let it. If you tense up, grip your thighs, or hold your breath, you block that beautiful opening.
How I Used Squatting to Birth Smoothly
I squatted daily during pregnancy—not as a workout, but as a practice of surrender. I let my hips sink, my breath deepen, my pelvic floor soften. I let go of control and simply trusted my body to open.
And when I was in labor? My body did exactly what it had practiced. I didn’t fight the intensity—I let it move through me. I sank low, breathed deep, and let my baby come down effortlessly.
I also squatted during labor and as I pushed my baby out. Gravitiy is your friend!
Try This:
Deep squat daily—hold onto a counter if needed and sink down, letting your pelvis open.
Breathe fully in a squat, focusing on softening instead of gripping.
Surrender to the stretch. Notice if you tense up and practice leaning into the discomfort instead of resisting it.
2. Make Love Like You’re Practicing for Birth
Why Lovemaking is the Ultimate Birth Prep
Birth is an act of opening. So is lovemaking.
The same hormones that make sex feel good—oxytocin, endorphins, prolactin—are the ones that make birth flow smoothly. The more you practice surrendering to pleasure, the more you prepare yourself to surrender to the intensity of birth.
And let’s get real: if you’re used to clenching up, holding your breath, or resisting sensation in intimacy… that’s probably what you’ll do in labor.
How Love-Making Helped Me Have a Tear-Free Birth
During pregnancy, I wasn’t just making love for connection. I was practicing surrender. I focused on:
💛 Relaxing my jaw and throat (because it’s connected to the cervix!)
💛 Breathing through sensation instead of tensing up
💛 Leaning into pleasure, even when it felt intense
And when the time came to birth? My body already knew how to open. I didn’t fight the intensity—I rode it like a wave.
Try This:
During intimacy, notice where you hold tension. Your jaw? Your shoulders? Your pelvic floor? Consciously soften those areas.
Practice deep, open-mouth breathing during pleasure—it’s the same breath that will carry you through contractions.
Lean into sensation instead of resisting it. Whether it’s pleasure or discomfort, notice your instinct to tense up and choose softness instead.
Birth isn’t about force. It’s about allowing.
3. Poop Like You’re Birthing (Yes, Really!)
Why This is the Best Kept Birth Prep Secret
If you can’t surrender on the toilet, how will you surrender in birth?
Most of us unconsciously clench when we go to the bathroom—holding tension in our jaw, shoulders, and pelvic floor. But birth requires you to let go.
Your butthole and your cervix are best friends. If you’re used to pushing, straining, or tightening when you poop, your body will likely do the same in labor. Instead, practice full release.
How Pooping Prepared Me for a Smooth Birth
Every time I sat on the toilet, I used it as a practice for labor.
✨ Breathed deeply instead of pushing
✨ Relaxed my pelvic floor and let gravity do the work
✨ Made a low, open ‘ahhh’ sound to help soften everything
Sounds weird? Maybe. But when I was in labor, my body already knew how to let go. When my baby crowned, I didn’t tense up or hold back—I just breathed her down.
Try This:
Next time you poop, relax your whole body. Notice where you’re holding tension and soften it.
Breathe out fully instead of straining. Imagine your body melting open.
Gently spread your cheeks (seriously, it works!). It signals your body to release tension.
Birth isn’t about force. It’s about deep, full surrender.
Bringing It All Together: The Art of Letting Go
Birth is not something you do. It’s something you allow.
These three practices—squatting, making love, and surrendering on the toilet—aren’t just birth hacks. They’re a way of living in deeper trust with your body.
When I birthed my daughter, I didn’t fight the waves. I didn’t resist or try to control them. I did what I had practiced for months: I let go.
💛 I trusted my body to open.
💛 I welcomed intensity instead of fearing it.
💛 I surrendered.
And birth was exactly what it was meant to be: a wild, powerful, fully embodied experience of trust.
So if you want to prepare for birth? Start now.
👉 Squat.
👉 Make love.
👉 Poop with presence.
Because birth is not about control—it’s about surrender. And the more you practice now, the easier it will be to trust your body when the time comes.
Are You Ready to Create an Easeful, Embodied Birth & Mothering Journey?
Your body holds so much wisdom—and so much of what we experience in pregnancy and birth is shaped by what’s already stored in our nervous system. If we don’t do the inner work—to release tension, heal trauma, and learn to trust our bodies—we may find ourselves resisting the very process that is meant to unfold naturally.
That’s why I created 'Birthing from Within: Inner Healing for an Easeful Pregnancy & Birth', a free workshop designed to help you:
✨ Understand how your nervous system affects pregnancy, birth, and postpartum
✨ Release stored tension and fear so you can open fully in birth
✨ Begin the deep work of healing past wounds before becoming a mother
✨ Feel more connected to your body, baby, and intuition
This is for you if you’re on the journey of conception, pregnancy, or preparing for motherhood and want to feel deeply safe, supported, and embodied in your experience.
Join me for this free workshop and start the inner work that will shape your birth and motherhood journey for years to come.
📅 Date & Time: Tuesday March 18th. 10a PST.
📍 Location: Live on Zoom / Replay Available
🎟️ Reserve Your Spot Here:
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